Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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