I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
