So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
