Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
