Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
this will be a night to untag.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
