Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dick very happy bro
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize