If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
