I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
