apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
