You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
