So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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