Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize