i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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