remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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