And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize