I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
