i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
