Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
