so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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