Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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