I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
