i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dear god my vagina.
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