Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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