good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize