we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
