Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
