Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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