cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
