So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
