As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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