I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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