I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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