We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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