I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
