What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So vagazzling was a success
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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