Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He better not be in your backpack
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
