There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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