Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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