hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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