I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
