Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
