i already hear my dad disowning me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
