I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize