Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I want to walk on stilts...naked
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
