ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
