Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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