P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
