the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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