Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We need a shit load of segways right now
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
