who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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