I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
