we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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