WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you win again, gameday.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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