I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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