the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
