It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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