think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
