he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
