I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize