Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
