so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We had to coat check the pizza.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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